


It's not that easy

by AniKit



Series: It never is [2]
Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Prison, Basically prostitution, Character Development, Dark, Dark Septiplier, Depressing, Heavy Angst, M/M, Manipulation, Revenge, Survival, Sweet Jelix
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-01
Updated: 2017-07-11
Packaged: 2018-11-22 03:33:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,112
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11371728
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AniKit/pseuds/AniKit
Summary: With Felix, Jack feels like he finally can be happy. When a woman is murdered and he is arrested for it, he realizes he can't be.A sequel to It's not that simple. It can be read on it's own, technically, but alot of history and character development would be lost.





	1. In prison

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know shit about prison life, but I think I'm making an english prison more like an American one. If this is a world where Jack, Felix and Mark is gay, it might as well be a world where the prison works as I feel fits for the story.

If there was one thing life taught him, it’s that happiness never lasts. And that’s not meant in a cynical, ever-depressing fact. It’s the same thing as saying life is like a rollercoaster. A rollercoaster just sounds more fun.  
The thing is, you can never be happy ever after. The human-brain doesn’t function like that. Life doesn’t function like that.  
Sometimes it’s good, sometimes it’s bad.  
What really pissed him of though, was that when it first got bad… Shit really hit the fan.  
Once, Jack had been in a relationship where he was beaten and pushed around, mistrusted and misunderstood. He had been so unhappy. Worst was, he had brought this unhappiness on himself. He had cheated on the love of his life, Mark. Mark had just handled it the only way he knew.  
In the end, with the help of Jack’s second lover’s best friend, Felix, Mark had ended up in prison for murdering the person Jack had cheated on him with.  
Everyone could tell him, every day for the rest of Jack’s life; ‘It wasn’t your fault. You didn’t make him like that. You didn’t make him a murderer.’ Jack would never ever believe them. It wouldn’t ever be true.  
Still, he managed to move on. After months of lying in bed, staring at the wall in a silence that felt like death creeping up on him. After so many nights crying, screaming into his pillow. After so many days, feeling nothing but emptiness. After countless conversations with his mother and brother and psychiatrist. After dying inside. Again and again and again.  
‘He was so happy, Jack.’  
God, how that voice whispered to him.  
‘He loved you so much.’  
It haunted him. It was always there, ready to step in every single time it had a chance. Every time there was silence around him.  
‘He loved you, and you broke his heart and ruined his life.’  
There he was, a twenty seven year old man who screamed for his mother at night, because he couldn’t be alone with this voice.  
The worst times had to be when he was doing good. When he was drinking tea or reading a book or playing a game. When he was relaxed and comfortable. Then the voice would come and remind him;  
‘Mark’s in prison right now. Suffering. Paying for your sins. And here you are, pretending like you never did anything wrong.’  
But yes. Jack managed to move on. He really did. And if people asked him how his recovery was, he would tell them that It’d been alright. Hard, but alright. He wouldn’t tell them about the sleepless nights, haunting nightmares and the cruel voice in his head.  
‘You ruined his life,’ it tells him. ‘You ruined his life.’

There is a light at the end of every tunnel. Felix was Jack’s light. When they met again, months after Mark had been arrested, Jack considered himself healed. After weeks with Felix, Jack began considering himself happy. For every worry Jack had – and he had a lot – Felix had a careless answer. Felix had this calmness about him, and Jack cherished how contagious this was. Maybe it even made Jack a little clingy – he’d rather be with Felix than alone with the voice in his head – but Felix didn’t mind.  
It didn’t take long before Jack moved in with Felix. The sound of the city outside the apartment that would have bothered Jack before, was soothing to him now. He felt surrounded. Like he wasn’t ever alone.  
Jack never did go back to the way he used to be. He was free now to make friends and be the middle of attention again, like he used to, but he didn’t feel the need for it. He just wanted to enjoy the simple pleasures in life. Like breakfast with Felix, walks with Felix’s dog, Edgar, or drawing by the kitchen window. After some time living with Felix, he got a job at the café right next to the library. It was cozy and calm, but also it was something to do, and a way for him to get out more. In his healing process, he hadn’t been out of the house much. He had gotten so used to not contacting people while with Mark, that it was weird being able to again. When he first got back to England, he sometimes caught himself staring at the ground and avoiding people’s eyes, because that’s what he used to do to avoid contact. He felt weird when Felix introduced him to his friends, like he was doing something wrong. He was breaking the agreements.  
No, he wouldn’t ever be like he used to. Outspoken, energetic and the center of every party. But he liked the way he was now. He felt more grown up. He WAS more grown up.  
Felix and Jack never confessed feelings for each other. They didn’t really need to. It just sort of happened. Jack would start laying his head on Felix’s shoulder when they were watching movies together, and Felix would put and arm around him. Felix’s random friendly compliments got less friendly after time, and more flirty. ‘Good nights’ turned into hugs that eventually continued into the bedroom. Jack woke up in Felix’s arms every morning, and with each passing day he forgets the voice, and he forgets Mark.  
There is a light at the end of every tunnel. Felix was Jack’s light. The light was so glorious and so warm, that Jack couldn’t even bring himself to worry about what was to come. No matter how long and how dark the next tunnel would be, he would get through it with Felix.   
But Felix wouldn’t be with him. And what was lying next was no tunnel. It was a cave.

“That must be exactly how I looked when I came here.”  
Jack didn’t even look at him. This was a bad dream, and he was nothing but a monster in it. Or a ghost. The ghost of a monster maybe. Actually, the ghost of a monster that used to be an angel.  
“I was afraid too,” the ghost said. “I was crushed. I thought there was nothing left for me. I had nothing to live for. But you never know what waits around the corner. Turns out, there is a life for me here. One that maybe suits me better. You, though… I don’t think your life here will be much. I don’t even think It’ll be your life anymore. It’ll be mine. Like it was always meant to be.”  
Jack thought about telling it that it might as well shut up, for Jack was in no condition to give mind to it. He didn’t give a fuck what it said or what it wanted. It couldn’t possibly get worse than this anyway.  
How did he get here? Jack squeezed his eyes shut, as he tried to make sense of it all. How did this happen?  
It had been a normal day. A good day. He and Felix woke up together, walked the dog and ate leftover dinner for breakfast. It was Sunday, and the weather outside couldn’t make up it’s mind between sun and rain. They were gonna visit Marzia.  
“Goodbye, Edgar,” Jack had cooed, smooching the pug all over. The pug took the kisses happily, his tail wagging, unaware that they were about to leave him home alone. Jack and Felix had left the apartment holding hands. Felix wore his knee-long, grey coat, and Jack was wearing his black leather jacket. Things were calm and sweet between them, like it usually was.  
Then they reached the street by the go-around. Jack rolled his eyes, and began dragging Felix faster along. Felix seemed confused for a second, until he saw the woman leaning against the wall farther down the road. He then gave Jack a devilish grin, but nonetheless he put his head down and walked faster with the Irish-man.  
The woman – a young, tired drug addict and hooker by night – was often on this street, begging for money and chatting with everyone who would listen. She had developed a crush on Felix long ago, and would often follow him when he was going to work, having lunch or taking walks with his dog. Jack had even seen her trying to catch sight of the swede through both their kitchen and their bedroom window. It wasn’t very pleasant waking up to see a pale face, surrounded by long black hair, stare at you sleeping through the window. Jack hadn’t slept well after that.  
The woman never seemed to mind when Felix had his boyfriend with him either. She would practically shove her breasts into Felix’s face as Jack was watching.  
Though Felix just thought the whole ordeal was hilarious, and Jack knew he would not even consider her, it still bothered Jack. Fucking hell, she was stalking him! The whole thing was just infuriating.  
So one time, Jack had blown up. It was a week after he had seen her through the bedroom window actually. He hadn’t gotten much sleep after that, and as soon as he saw her throw herself at Felix like she was drowning and he was her lifeline, Jack exploded.  
Jack didn’t get easily angry. There can’t ever have been anyone outside of Jack’s family that had seen Jack explode before. And then – because of course Marzia, Brad, Brad’s girlfriend and his friend Michael had been with them – everyone got to see him explode. Everyone in the city within earshot – and Jack’s voice could reach pretty far – turned their heads to watch the greenhead yell at the woman.  
After he had shouted his lungs empty of air, he stormed to their apartment with flaming cheeks and clenched teeth. He left behind him the stunned gang, and pouting woman.  
They had all, even Felix, teased him endlessly about it afterwards. But it ended up being worth it, because there was a whole new spark between them when he and Felix made love that night, and the woman made sure to not try anything while Jack was watching, or look through their windows anymore. Still, Jack avoided her like the plague.  
“You’re cute,” Felix had mumbled as they passed the bench they had met on so long ago.  
“Cute when I’m jealous?” Jack asked, annoyed at the cliché.  
“Too cute to be jealous,” Felix corrected.  
Jack made a small gasping sound as Felix abruptly stopped, and yanked Jack to him. Their lips met, and Jack felt Felix’s cool hand on his head, the thumb on his lower cheek and the rest of Felix’s slim fingers on his neck.  
Felix’s kisses were different from all the others Jack had kissed. Everyone else always kept their lips in motion. Felix just had his lips planted, firmly, standing still. It felt like he froze time every time he kissed him. Like seconds stopped passing, and life stopped breathing. They weren’t wasting a single moment. They were making one.  
Then Felix pulled away, and his smile drew a giggle from Jack that he couldn’t explain. It was probably just happiness, overflowing inside him.  
Being at Marzia’s was great. She always had stories to tell, and was so bubbly and excited over everything. They all made dinner together, and ate while laughing at how cringy the movie they’d picked out was. As Jack was happily scratching his full stomach, his phone beeped. Neither Felix nor Marzia took notice, as they were giggling to each other about the movie.  
“Hey, Felix,” Jack said quickly, his eyes glued to the message on his phone. He was already getting up from the couch. Felix looked at him, sensing the urgency in Jacks voice. “Someone’s broken into the café. Tom is asking me to come help clean up.”  
“Seriously? I’m coming with you,” Felix said, getting up from the couch as well. Jack gestured for him to sit down.  
“No, no, stay,” he said. “It’s still early, I’ll have time to go help and then come back here.”  
“You sure?”  
Jack smiled. “I’m sure, no sweat.”  
Felix went over and kissed Jack lightly on the cheek, then on the mouth. Jack grinned before he ran to put his shoes and jacket on.  
God, he should have asked Felix to come with him.  
Jack rushed to the café, only to find it empty. It was Sunday, it had closed early, and there was no sign of a break in. He called Tom, but he didn’t pick up. He called the boss, but he hadn’t heard of any break-in.  
Confused and irritated, Jack was about to go back to Marzia’s place, but abruptly stopped in his tracks when he heard a struggling woman’s voice call for help. His head snapped towards the alley behind the café, and with a glance around him – he was alone – he ran towards the sound.  
People could say that it was stupid of him. That the circumstances were just too weird. First, he get’s messages about a break-in that never happened, then he hears someone shout for help exactly where those false claims happened. But it wasn’t like he could just ignore it, and walk away if someone was in danger.   
On the side of the café, he saw something lay on the ground, seemingly so misplaced. It was a knife. And there was something dripping from the blade, something so impossible, that Jack had to pick it up to study it closer. Clutching the shaft, Jack was shaking his head. It couldn’t be what it looked like. It couldn’t be.  
There were no calls for help anymore.   
The sun was hidden behind clouds as Jack entered the back alley. The whole street laid in shadow, and the narrow space between the two buildings were even darker. Suddenly he felt like he was walking into a movie. Something that wasn’t really part of his life, because it couldn’t possibly be.  
She was lying on the ground, colorless in the darkness. She had always looked rough with the worn clothes and matted hair. She usually seemed so crazy – twitching and grinning in a way she maybe thought was seductive. Now, she looked a different kind of crazy with the mouth hanging open and eyes wide in eternal fear. Her clothes were bloody. Ground bloody. Knife bloody.  
A weird sobbing hiccup left him, and he realized he’d been holding his breath.   
It was her. The hooker that was so hung up on Felix.  
He took a step back, but he couldn’t take his eyes of her. His mind gave him endless possibilities – run, call the police, call an ambulance, check if she’s dead – but he stood there, frozen.  
When the sound of police sirens arrived, he could barely distinguish it from the alarms going off in his head. He heard the slamming of car doors though, and the arrival of voices. The hurried footsteps. They told him to turn around, slowly.  
He did. His face colorless. His knuckles white from clutching the murder-weapon.  
Now he was here. Behind bars, on a bunk bed and surrounded by white and grey. The ghost chuckling in front of him.  
“A lot had happened to me since we last saw each other,” Mark said. “But we’ve got a lot of time to catch up, don’t we my love?”   
‘You deserve this,’ the voice whispered.


	2. Trauma

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's through pain we change the most.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, not how prisons in England is. But I'm bending the reality for this story.

Prison is fucking terrifying. All the glaring eyes and sudden shouts. Sure, some of them, maybe most of them, would have to be peaceful, but to Jack they all looked like giants ready to make him into a red mess on the ground. He wasn’t made for prison.  
“Do you wanna know-“  
“Shut the fuck up,” Jack muttered, interrupting his cellmates speech. Mark glared at him, but Jack couldn’t care less. Right now, Mark was the least of his problems. He had been scary once. Not anymore.  
Jack was sitting on the bottom bunker, – even though Mark had tried to make it clear that the bottom one was his – hugging his knees and looking out at the other prion cells he could see from his position. He still couldn’t quite believe it. That he was here. He’d never felt so out of place.  
“Seriously, I think-“  
“Seriously, shut up,” Jack snapped, and in any other situation, Mark’s expression of shock would have made him laugh. “I need to think.”  
Think about the bloody body. Think about the questioning. Thinking about the trial. Thinking about the tears running down Felix’s face like rivers as he desperately tried to get to Jack before they locked him away. He didn’t make it. Next time they saw each other, it would probably be behind glass.  
‘Mcloughlin had been through a great deal of trauma, which can give a person sociopathic personality-traits,’ they said.  
‘His psychologist describe him as possibly unstable,’ they said.  
‘He lived with a murderer for over a year. Who’s to say he didn’t know about the murder, and ignored it? Maybe even encouraged it?’ they said.  
‘He hated this woman. There are several witnesses from the area who can confirm he hated her.’  
Jack groaned and covered his face with his hands. How could this be?  
“I framed you.”  
Jack looked up at the man in front of him. The man which he had loved, feared and hated. The man which Jack had turned into the monster he was now.  
He was shocked at the words. It made sense, of course, the whole murder scene so prettily made up for the police to catch Jack there. He just hadn’t wanted to think that Mark could have been the one. He’d done a lot of terrible things, but Jack was still surprised at how far he could go. Each of Marks evildoings reminded Jack how much he broke Mark down. All the times Mark had hurt him in the past had been karma for what Jack had done, but he thought it would be over now. He thought he could be happy with Felix.  
Then again, Mark once thought he could be happy with Jack.  
“I have a friend in here,” Mark said. “Who has some friends on the outside. They kept an eye on you, and noticed your public shaming of that poor woman. When the right time came, they ‘borrowed’ your colleague’s cellphone to get you to the café were they’d lured the woman into the back alley. They slit her throat and tossed the murder weapon where you’d stumble upon it. I can’t believe how well it went. You even picked up the murder weapon, you pretty little idiot.” Mark grinned at him, and Jack glared at him as he came closer.  
“I will be so happy to share this cell with you,” Mark said, his grin making him seem like some stranger to Jack. Like a twisted version of Mark, pulled out from a nightmare. “Doesn’t it feel right? To be here with me; mine again.”  
Jack just sneered at him. “I thought you were done with this. You don’t love me.”  
With a snarl, Mark shot forward and pulled Jack up by his hair. “You’re damn right I don’t,” he hissed into Jack’s ear before he tossed him to the ground. Jack groaned in pain and surprise as he hit the hard cell floor. “It’s gonna make it so much easier to hurt you.” Mark kicked Jack in the stomach, and cackled as Jack groaned and curled into a ball. Jack could hear cheers from the cell next door. “I’ve been here for a year, caged like a fucking animal! My family won’t visit, my friends won’t visit. I might be here for the rest of my life.” Mark crouched down so that he could talk directly into Jack’s pain strained face. “And it’s your god damn fault. Everything I am; you made me, Jack. It’s only right that you share this cell with me.”  
Mark turned silent then, and sat down on the bed – apparently tired after the outburst of both anger and mad glee. Jack only lay still, holding his stomach.  
“What happened to your last roommate?” Jack asked.  
“Dead,” Mark muttered, and the lack of emotion in his voice made Jack’s heart clench in pain for what the man he once loved had turned into. “The story is that he started shit with some other cellmates, it got out of control, and they had to do what they had to do to defend themselves. Truth is, they started all the shit, killed him and made up the story together.” Mark grinned at Jack. “Had to make up some space for you after all.”  
“You some kind of leader in here now?” Jack asked; the sarcasm showing through the pain. “King of the criminals?  
“Something like that, yeah. But favors are repaid with favors in here. I owe my good friend one for getting you here.”  
“Oh yeah?” Jack grumbled, finally getting up into a sitting position, but still holding his stomach. “What did he want then?”  
Mark’s lip curled. He didn’t answer.

The first night was terrible. The bed sucked, and Jack was twisting and turning in the sheets the whole night. He barely got a couple minutes of sleep. He was happy Mark at least didn’t try anything.  
After holding himself for far too long, Jack eventually had to use the toilet in the cell. Mark was kind enough not to look at him, but Jack could see the smug grin on the half German’s face as he looked at a magazine on his bed.  
Lunch was downright terrifying. Jack felt like all eyes were on him, seizing up the easy target. Maybe some of them wanted some kind of errand boy, maybe some of them wanted someone to kick around for fun, and maybe some of them wanted a bottom bitch. Jack wasn’t ready for any of that. The lunch went by without problems though. Mark didn’t say anything to him, but kept Jack my his side as they got the food and found a table to sit at. It seemed as the others respected Mark.   
There were four other guys at the table they sat down at. They all glanced at Jack, but didn’t acknowledge him further than that. Except one of them who nodded at him when they’re eyes met. He was the biggest one of them, with both arms covered in tattoos and dark curled hair that reached his shoulders. He kept glancing at Jack throughout the lunch, and Jack tried avoiding him with his eyes as best as possible.  
When lunch was over, Jack jumped up and went to go back to his cell. It seemed better than the alternatives. It wasn’t exactly tempting to go to the gym and lift weights with the others. Mark and the big guy was right behind him, but Jack didn’t mind them. That was until he felt a big hand grasp his shoulder, holding him in place.  
“I told you,” Mark said softly into Jack’s ear as he passed him. “I had to repay him with something.”  
Then he continued to walk on as Jack was shoved into the cell next to him, and pushed into the wall farthest away from the open cell door.  
“Wait, wait-“ A hand laid itself over Jack’s mouth, holding it shut. Another hand took both of Jack’s wrist, and held them tight behind his back. He struggled and tried to use his legs to kick himself away from the wall, but the man behind him was like a brick wall. No matter how hard he wriggled and kicked and jumped, he was being held in place. Tears were running from his eyes without him taking notice as his heart ripped his chest open and blood pumped in his ears. He was screaming behind the hand.  
Even as the man held him in place, he was still gentle. Even as Jack struggled until his strength was all used up, the man took his time. Patiently, he got Jack out of the white prison uniform. By the time Jack was naked, he already had no strength left. He was just crying and begging into the hand. The man even took time to prepare Jack, and even though it would make it less painful, it made Jack feel dirtier. Even as the inmate forced himself into Jack, he did it carefully.  
By now, Jack felt like a doll pushed up against the wall. His half-lidded eyes were glued to the wall on the side of him, and all feeling in his body and mind seemed to slip away. He felt nothing, other than the sense of rhythmic movement somewhere far away.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading, I love every comment I get!


End file.
